I'll do a quick a dirty run down of what happened since 2007.
- In 06'-07' I began having strange dreams and the fruition of several predictions were in the midst of coming true. In 07' was having a wide range of very strange occult things happen TO me. At one point I had a white snowy owl swoop down on me from above. I had 3 dreams, one where I saw Jesus, talked to him in a very practical way, him telling me where I was in my life and showing me that he was going to relieve me of sins. In the next dream I had a white light shoot out of my mouth, followed by a silver 2 edged sword that made a sound like NOTHING I have ever heard before. I woke up as soon as that was over. The last dream was 2 people talking to me and telling me I had wings, asking me if I could feel them, the second I thought about them, there they were, heavy, hanging off my back. I was able to make them move, flap, everything.
- The path seemed to open up for me, even with plans falling apart at the last minute, everything seemed to fall into place, I'd like to say it was GOD doing this...I'd LIKE to say that. I moved to our new house in April of 07'. Speed bumps came and went, rough times in family, finances, marriage. Depression from recently being discharged, losing much of my friends and support networks, having to figure out what and who I was now that all labels and titles no longer apply to me.
- Aug 09' things change in a BIG way. Out of nowhere, I began to want to meditate. In some strange coincidence, my wife had recently purchased these CD's with this rain falling and tone that put your brain in a meditating frame of mind. I used my MP3 player and laid down in a dark room and closed my eyes. At first, there was really nothing...but I knew I had to relax before this would happen. One day, in about as slow a way as I could, I said the word LOVE. I felt nearly every cell in my body tingle all at once. Strangest feeing I've ever felt. After that, I was in a far more heightened state of being, I guess, if that is how some would put it and it wasn't long before stuff began to happen. I felt myself leave my body and drift upwards...I began to see a figure sitting in lotus position, just sitting there. He had one like this crown thing but it wasn't for royalty, I got that it was to help him communicate, to amplify his signal. He was say "come closer" and at first I was into this...and then something made me scared and I wanted out of all this. BAM! Back in the body.
- After that little incident I began to know that abilities I knew that I'd always had access to were stronger now. I began to experiment with astral projection. I knew that I could focus my mind on something and see it. I knew that I could really go anywhere with this ability even under the earth, inner earth, underground, anywhere. I DID do this. I saw things that I'd rather not talk about. Think cages, people in them. Bad things are happening under your feet, people...very bad things. The alien ant farm is doing nasty, nasty things and they mean you all the harm in the world. After one of my little trips, I got a visit from a tall grey, ant person. He had elephant skin, tall, LARGE blue eyes. I watched as he vanished right in front of me.
- It was late September of 09, still pretty warm for them time up here when I woke up and I KNEW I had been abducted. I looked at my right hand, there was a 3 dot triangle in it, made from seemed to be puncture marks, there was no pain. I went outside to see large to have a cigarette (I still smoked back then) and there in the sky was a large ball of light...that took off and went up and out of sight.
- Around the same time, I was in the house when I suddenly got the urge to run outside and look up in the sky, no sooner had I got out in front of the house and looked up then a ball of light, similar to the ones I've seen on several occasions, came streaking in from the outer atmosphere, a trail of gold/green dust trailing out behind it. This was probably the single most exciting thing I have ever seen. I seemed to KNOW it wanted me to go outside and see it and it didn't stop there, the entirety of upper Michigan saw this thing. It was explained away as the space station, which was easily disproven, the object came in from a certain angle, made a large downward j hook dive, then CHANGED directions from flying east to directly SOUTH, over my sister in laws house, did I mention that it was followed by another large ball that lit up, out of nowhere, right behind it? Yes. So, the space station explanation is at best, absurd.
- All this time I wanted to believe that these experience were holy and from GOD, after all, I really wanted that to be true. Some of these things I cannot explain, I just can't. The experiences were happening too fast and too strong for me to comprehend them. I was wrestling in my own mind with all of this. There seemed to be something locally trying to get me to deny this while at the same time, something higher was trying to get me to accept it, I didn't know what to do. I cried, I prayed, I prayed I tried to look for answers. I sought solace in drugs, alcohol, friends...all to no avail. Some things made sense some things didn't.
- Several years and many abductions later, I'm in my house, I had been getting into "all things Egypt" there for a while, was reading some material about a group of people that had "channeled" a being that called itself "Ra" and began to think that this was one of the things behind some of my experiences. I was laying on the couch one day, I felt this very scary feeling come over me...like hyper fear, I was freaking out and then WHOOSH!! I felt something go strait into the center of me, like pouring a huge bucket of water into a horse trough. At the same time, I felt something like bubbles coming off the side of my left shoulder. After that happened, I had a very strange new set of ideals. When it first happened, I thought I was dying...having a heart attack and I walked in my kitchen to try to get a glass of water. Feeling like I had just been electrocuted I could barely walk, I asked GOD, for lack of a better person to say it was "Is this it? Is this the day I leave my family and go with you?" and the voice said "No". I was confused...I didn't understand. I asked "What is this?" and the voice calmly spoke one word "blessings, Ray...blessings to you".
After gaining my composure, I ran downstairs and began reading that material again...the Ra stuff. Something else was in charge now...it made me dial down, quickly to the part on page 71 of this material where the entity basically spoke the Crowley maxim "do what thou wilt". As soon as I read that I went into a rage. Despite all the attempts of this new spirit to calm me down I was furious. I began to delete links, pictures, contacts...you name it, it was like slamming on the brakes at 150mph.
- What came from this outburst, which had been building for a while, earthly things like money matters, marital strife and just all I had been through as well as being SO angry with myself for being such an easily led fool just piled up against me to put me into the PERFECT bad mood. Totally inconsolable, totally non-negotiable, I was MAD as HELL. All this time, I can hear the voice begging me to remain calm but I was almost as mad at it for what IT did. All thins resulted in me hitting the road to make a 1200 mile journey which began at midnight.
- I needed to get out. I tossed some clothes in a bag, fired up the little neon and hit the open road. My wife was upset, I was upset, I just need to get out. I tried to calm her down and somehow I knew it was going to be ok but I wanted to get out of town, fast. Before I took off, I bowed my head and asked GOD to forgive me for my rage, bless my journey and help me sort this all out. A series of images flashed in my mind that let me know I was going to make it and it was going to me alright.
- In Virginia, I held over at a very close friends house, the closest thing in this world I have to real brother, a big brother, someone that I can always talk to, someone that is always happy to see me, to receive me and to help me. I love this guy as much as I can love anyone and that was my first stop. His family is great, I love them all. It was a great stop, until I was sleeping one morning and I was paralyzed in bed...I saw a figure, black from head to toe, an aura around it of red and green then I went to sleep. I woke up with a desire to go see a psychic. I have never gone to see a psychic and really never put any faith of trust in them. I mean, you can say all kinds of things and people will believe it, just tell people what you think they want to hear. It was also around this time I began to hear a name in my head, Ramiel.
- While in NC, staying with my mother, things went from weird to WIERD. I really was uneasy with what seemed to be a very expansive and heightened sense of awareness. I just KNEW things. Now, I had always been "gifted" (cursed). I KNEW the morning I woke up that my grandfather was going to die that day. It was like someone came over in the middle of the night and just told me. I don't know HOW I knew...I just knew. Well all of that stuff...those abilities were now in turbo and even MORE was at my fingertips...just think a thought and it happens. My friends cat was not using the litter box, she had decided to use the guest bathroom sink as the new place to drop a duce. I rubbed her with my right hand at the same time I thought a series of thoughts, images that I sent to her in rapid succession, like hyper communication, what she was doing was bad and what she SHOULD be doing. I felt a snap of electricity off my finger and the cat snapped around and made a long "MEOW!" at me. My friend said, "What did you just do?" I said back to him "she wont do that anymore". So far, I'm right, they still have her and she has never done that since. Power.
- Like I said, weird to weird. While there I was having such a hard time sleeping...a terrible time in fact, as in I never slept, I was totally exhausted all the time. One night, just trying to feel better, I went to the a local wine bar in Beaufort, I had brought along one of my guitars, a 12 string and was playing it at the open mic night. Doing pretty well because the bar tender was feeding me free beers just for playing. It was at the "back bar" a courtyard of sorts, that the single strangest thing happened. I'm sitting there, playing my trusty 12 string and in walks these couple of people...a girl, what seems to be her man and another fellow came in later, he seemed to be new in town, an organic chemist is what he called himself.
- The girl, striking in appearance was quick to approach me, she was with a guy but the guy seemed aloof to me, there but sort of distant, not a talker by any stretch, good looking guy easy going they were just a strange couple. After a few other musicians came, we all tried to figure out what we knew, someone had said "knocking on heavens door?" and I gave the nod that I knew how to play it...so it began. After the shittiest rendition of that song ever played, the rest of the jam sort of fell apart. It was after this time that the girl, Michelle decided to begin talking to me, she was keenly interested in me, even in a general way, more than someone WOULD be. She knew I was not from around there, that I was married but she still wanted to feel me out, even mentioning to someone "I want to see what this guy can do..." I get the feeling she wasn't talking about my guitar playing but about what would come up later.
After I got bored playing guitar, I began asking people questions about UFO's and other strange things. Michelle, who btw, had not just one name but no less that 4 or 5 and she insisted on telling them ALL to me, in several different languages, too, anyway. After a while, she sort of waits for everyone to leave, either that or she MADE them leave and she begins confirming a few things I was talking about. She said "I know exactly what you're talking about" and I said "what is this tingly feeling between my eyes?" She replied "That's your 3rd eye". I said "what about this tingle all around the top of my head?" She seemed a little confused by that...then, the organic chemist, who I didn't think knew her, spoke up and said "how that happen?" as in asking her...and I looked at him like...uh, wtf? NOW you guys know each other? He said to her, "that could only happen if both the snakes go all the way to the top" and I said "you don't have that?" and she looked, in a disparaging fashion down at the ground and shook her head "no". She looks up at me and says "You know...I don't usually talk in public about the things I know". She speaking in a strange tone now, a coy tone...like, the reveal is about to happen, she is directing that last statement in a 'you shouldn't talk about it either' kinda way. She then leans into me and with the most strange look, dead in the eyes she says "electric blue?". BAM! Now we on a different plain of existence. I had NEVER told ANYONE about that. I still will not. But suffice it to say...she knew about it and there is NO way she could have. I had told NO ONE about that.
I'm not sure how the night ended...I drove home, probably should not have after drinking 5 beers.
- After that meeting with Michelle, things got even weirder. I get to my mothers house...exhausted, I lay in the bunk bed to go to sleep. I can't, my head is going off and every time I close my eyes I see this teal green light...this strange little spirit light, swirling in a counter clockwise direction...just slowly going around and around. I can make it stop, I try everything but nothing works. I also get the strangest feeling that even though I'm in the house alone...I'm not alone.
- The next morning I can't wake up. I finally crawl out of bed around 1, dead tired. I had had some of the strangest dreams anyone SHOULD have. Some of these dreams were not to be discussed in a public site but they were clearly sexual in nature. I felt as if I had been violated...I had clear memories of it. I also had a very strange mark on my inner thigh, left leg.
It was a puncture mark...surrounded by a ring of other marks in a circle. I had been injected with something. I was so scared now...I didn't want to stay...I didn't know what to do. In a panic, again...I left in the night. I departed my mothers house, about a week ahead of when I said I was going to leave, at 11:30 pm, headed back home.
- Get back to Michigan and the stuff is still going on, I have so many thoughts blazing through my head and I can make them stop. Names of people...places...things, stuff...just all crazy.
I woke up with blood on my face and I could feel something in my face, this little rice sized thing...and it moved. I could feel it and them it was gone...GOD only knows where. I made arrangement to go see this psychic lady. I make the drive down there, strangely, I think this is going to really put me at ease, I really did.
- I get to her house, climb out of my car, she takes one look at me and say's "Oh boy...you ready to do this?" I got the impression that is NOT what she say's to everyone. We go in the room, I made sure to record the session, video, so no one could say I was putting words in her mouth. She knew quite a bit. She, all on her own, knew that I had had contact with others, "not human things" as she put it. She spoke of me going up several dimensions, told me how it felt, then she did the tarot cards. I hate all of this stuff. I had recently burned the tarot deck that was in my house that my wife had bought, I hate that stuff and put absolutely NO stock in it. I reject it completely. So, she does this "reading" and it comes up roses all around, I can feel the smoke blowing my rear end all the way from where every all this torment is coming from. She pushes me to "trust" and even mentions "blessings" but somehow...I can't trust, no matter what happens...I can't. To me, so far, it would be like a rapist saying "trust me, its all going to work out great....just a few more rape sessions and we're going to be fine." This stuff was moving too fast and too weird, I was not enjoying all the strange transhumanist things I was suddenly able to do. I didn't FEEL good...I felt like shit all the time and I hated it.
- I was on the fence with the psychic. Half of me wanted to trust this but another part of me was screaming "NO!!". I was torn and began asking as sincerely in prayer as I could for understanding and discernment of what was happening. This is when what I would call, the attacks began. I would get these surges of panic, like screams of death wishes from a place I could not see of hear but could feel. My heart would race and I would be certain each time it happened that this next time would do me in. There was no help during this time, my wife isn't much of a Christian, I couldn't turn to her for prayers, so I was seeking help from the yahoo's we have around here. Mostly welling meaning but totally misguided pastors, all hating each others churches, talking bad about each other. Its a mess. I sought help on line, prayer requests, each time though, it got a little better and better.
After I finished the book, I prayed. That night I had a strange dream, in the dream I was going through my house, though it wasn't the house I'm in now, it was a nice house, not lavish just nice. There were a few things in the house that I was surprised were there...occult things. In the dream, I built a fire in the back yard and was throwing ALL of it on the fire and burning it. There was someone in the dream helping me do it all, though I never saw him...it was a man. In the morning, I had this very wonderful warm feeling all in side of me...like a glow that I couldn't see but could feel. It was so warm. Its going to be alright, no matter what...its going to be alright.
I'll expand on this stuff in a later post.